Updates on my life... he graciously agreed to pull back and to take it slow. So we are back to the courtship stage. I told him I still need to deal with my personal issues about how I relate to men and how I value myself.

As it is my birthday tomorrow, he surprised me today with flowers. 

I love flowers. They wither after a few days but while they are alive, they do what they do best-- to be beautiful-- unconditionally beautiful.

 Flowers do not have give any excuses. They are just beautiful. And the fact that we cannot enjoy their beauty for long just makes the experience more worthwhile. 

Beauty has a purpose in this world as well. 

I had already experienced the LSS last year, given by The Shepherd's Flock. And as the APY ExeCom planned "The Hunger Games" Team building and recollection, I knew that Raymart would incorporate the teachings of the Holy Spirit into the program. But I did not expect the things that happened today.

We started with the Team Building activities. There were 12 stations that Ces and I prepared. Each was connected to the 12 Promises of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The stations tested both the mental and physical aspects of our members. I felt that this was a success. We all had fun and we were able to bond with each other. It gave me an opportunity to see who had leadership potential in the group. And it allowed us to translate the 12 Promises to the members, in a language they could understand

When we moved back into Hall 1 of Layforce, people were tired and sleepy from the morning activities. I had to elbow my seat mates to wake them up during the talks. But the discussions by Pope and Raymart on God's love, On Forgiveness, the Holy Spirit, and Faith, were topics which I had heard of before. These may seem so simple, even repetitive (subjects we discussed back in Grade School and even in College Theology) but they took on a new meaning for me today.

 I was amazed about how they wove the story of the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus into God's love and onto the discussion of the Holy Spirit. The image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus as a God who gives His heart (to the last drop of blood and water) and the God that accepts us all no matter what, just allowed me to deepen my understanding of God's abounding love for me.

 I was also amazed to see how they explained the Holy Spirit's role in the Holy Trinity. The Holy Spirit is not separate from God the Father and Son. The Holy Spirit is a result of the love of God the Father for God the Son and God the Son's love for the Father. And in relation to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Holy Spirit is the blood and water which flowed from the side of Jesus when His heart was pierced with a lance. 

I realized that there is no conflict between our devotion and of believing in the Holy Spirit. In the Age of the Holy Spirit, this is the time for renewal. The Paraclete gives strength to our wavering faith and gives life to our ministry. It does not matter if we are a Charismatic group or a Sacramental organization. All that mattered was that we "told the world of His love" and that we allowed our Hearts to become like His.

(Published in my FB Notes last 10 September 2011)



5 years ago, I saw a flyer for the Life in the Spirit Seminar (LSS) posted in Church. I don’t know why that particular flyer made me nervous. It made me so nervous that I consulted Mama Edith about it, and she told me that I should have gone to the seminar.

But due to different meetings, the fact that I felt shy about going alone (and other excuses that I made along), 5 years passed by.

Now, 2011, I got to know Gjian and Raymart from The Shepherd’s Flock (TSF), because they became a part of the Apostleship of Prayer Youth’s (APY) Executive Committee. They kept on talking about the LSS and I was finally convinced that I needed to and wanted to go. Unfortunately, I was not able to make it to the July/April session because of a meeting or some other thing.

BUT, through the grace of God and the intercession of Mama Mary, 2 days after Mama Mary’s birthday, I committed to coming. Wanting to make sure I had company during the seminar, I invited Ken, Ivy, Pierre, Val, and Ian to come.

Sabi ko, this is it! Kahit na-delay pa ako dahil naglinis ako ng banyo at nagpa-photocopy pa ng piyesa, I was going to make it. Of course, Nelly’s intermittent and personalized text reminders, helped place LSS in my priority list.

Today, I came and conquered. Today, I re-learned and re-understood basic tenets of our faith. Bro. Buddy spoke about how God loves us and how God saved us. Bro. Bong’s talk was on Faith, Repentance, and Forgiveness. These are the basic tenets taught to us in Grade School, more often in the form of memorized items and acronyms that were just words. But today I felt and found out what they meant for me. It also helped that my Shepherd, Sis. Ludz allowed us to process our learnings in our kawan.

Today, I encountered the Power of God, manifested through the Holy Spirit. As Bro. Albert spoke about the Holy Spirit and the Gift we were going to receive, I felt a splitting headache. It made listening more difficult. But I decided to persevere and to surrender the pain to Him.

I felt excited and apprehensive as we closed our eyes and began to pray. While singing “Come Holy Spirit”, I felt myself mumbling strange words. In the darkness, I saw the Sacred Heart of Jesus beckoning to me (how fitting, kasi siya yung lagi kong kaharap kapag Sunday.) I told Him, “Lord I believe in You, Ikaw na ang bahala sa akin.”

A hand suddenly touched me, to anoint me. I felt a bolt of electricity jolt me. It was hot, as if fire was enveloping me. My lips were vibrating and I was saying words that I could not understand.

I stood up and I felt people surround me. They were praying over me and I felt them touch me. My knees buckled and I was swaying from side to side. I tried to resist the force. But I felt myself falling. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor and I was speaking in tongues. My tongue felt as if it was going to fly out of my month. I felt so light. And tears were falling down my face. My tears were triggered by the beautiful music that I heard, it was as if angels were singing.

-------

Empowered and recharged. It was as if all my problems had been lightened because I was no longer alone. I felt enveloped in warmth and love. My headache was gone. And as Bro. Dennis spoke to us about how to let these gifts bear fruit (Pray, Study the Word, Belong to a Community, and Serve), I felt so joyful and so excited. I felt that I was ready to go and serve again.

Akala ko si Super Man lang ang pwedeng magkaroon ng kapangyarihan. Ako rin pala pwedeng maging Super Joan. Nakalimutan ko na Siya ang pinaka-bukal ng lahat. At dahil sa kabutihan Niya, pinili niya ako. Oo ako ay makasalanan at hindi ako perpekto.  Pero dahil sa pag-ibig Niya, ako ay nagiging buo.

I will follow Your call, Lord. All that I have is Yours. Use me to direct others to You.

My wish is that you too follow the call. Magpaligaw (courtship) ka at magpaligaw (lose yourself) kayLord. And you too will discover your super powers.